No More Silence.
My heart is so heavy today.
Two men innocently murdered. One by a father and son who shot him down while taking a jog in the neighborhood and the other by a white cop who pinned his neck to the ground with his knee as he yelled out for his mother and screaming out “I can’t breathe”. The black community is mourning, angry, and hurting and today my heart is too heavy to carry in my chest. To have to live with the fear and anger that at any moment our black men, women, or children could be taken out; it just hurts.
When I woke up this morning all I could do was acknowledge that I was feeling super emotional and easily agitated but I couldn’t grasp why I was feeling this way so deeply seeing that the day was just starting. It wasn’t until I sat with my heavy heart in silence that I realized I was mourning. Although, social media is a platform that’s used to speak out about the injustice that we experience in our community and gives a voice that allows us to speak out on our own personal platforms, it also is a space that I have had to step back from today because it has done nothing but continue to repeat and replay the very thing that is causing our hearts to break. During times like these, social media is not the place to go to pull away for a moment from the things that are attacking us in this world.
I can’t keep watching these murders or listening to our black men and women weep.
My heart mourns.
Must we continue to ask when will it stop? Will it ever stop? Is this just the thorn that our people have to bear? It’s not fair Lord…
It’s not fair.
Instead of going to other things to distract me from this mourning heart I went to the Lord Himself. After crying it out I sat on my balcony and let the word just wash over me. Not to take it all away, but to help me navigate my inner turmoil. As I sat and listened to the book of John through my headphones for almost 2 hours John 15:18-25 (MSG) allowed me not only to cry it out, but Jesus addressed this very moment of mourning and the worlds hatred. He says:
“If the world hates you, remember that it hated me first. The world would love as one of it’s own if you belonged to it, but you are no longer part of this world. I chose you to come out…”
Although I wept while reading (and even writing) this, it reminded me that if Jesus, Son of God and man, the very bridge for us to the Father Himself had to suffer senseless hatred and beating all the way to death….why would our walk be bruise free?…We may always live in a world with racism, hatred, prejudice, and bigotry towards our people but the days of silence and allowing these things to just happen to us are over. No more allowing your friends or people that you care about have a pass for saying or doing things in ignorance, it’s our job to educate the people in our realm of influence where they are aiding to this mindset. When we educate them then they can educate others, we cannot miss these opportunities anymore. But as my brother mentioned as we were talking about the subject “we can’t just address the outer without addressing the inner”. Before you can begin educating and correcting in your realm of influence or on your platform, we must first address self. It serves no purpose for us to gather up all our anger, sadness, and disappointment and dump it on someone else’s lap; we must address our own inner turmoil first.
My prayer for us is that You, oh Lord would not just protect our black men, women, and children, but that you would strengthen us and give us your wisdom for the fight. That You would give us boldness to speak out in a way that stops this enemy, our enemy, in its tracks. And if this is our cup to bear, that most of all you would help us endure this fight until it is won.
No more silence.
No more injustice.
Lord strengthen us for the fight.
“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart because I have overcome the world.” – John 16:33
Prayers, Strength, & Love to the family of George Floyd and Ahmaud Arbery . Our hearts mourn with you.